Larry Deeds

Too many Christians look and act like they were baptized in dill pickle juice and look like there is no fun or joy in the Christian life.

Doctors and psychologists tell us that laughter is good for us physically, mentally and emotionally. And Proverbs 17:22 states “a merry heart does good, like a medicine.”

Christians have much to be happy about.

Our sins are forgiven; our home in heaven is reserved; and God goes through life’s storms with us. 

Even Jesus had to have a good sense of humor and some of His stories and parables were funny stories.

With the current situation, we need to have an occasional laugh, at ourselves and others.

Let’s start with seven things you’ll never hear in church: “Hey, it’s my turn to sit in the front pew.” “Personally, I find attending church much more enjoyable than fishing or golf.” “I’ve decided to give our church the five hundred dollars a month that I used to give to televangelists.” “Pastor, I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the junior high Sunday school class.” “I love it when we sing songs that I’ve never heard before.” “Pastor, we’d like to send you to this bible conference in the Bahamas.” “Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign.”

And, the errors and typos in church bulletins are plentiful. “Ushers will eat latecomers.” “If all of the pews are full when you arrive, please wait in the aisle for help from one of our pushers.” “Thursday night: potluck dinner. Prayer and medication to follow.” “Latecomers are asked to wait until the service is over to be seated.”

“The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the prayer breakfast on Saturday.” “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.” “Tonight’s sermon topic ‘What is hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.” “The peacekeeping meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.” “This week’s healing service is postponed due to the pastor’s illness.”

An announcement of a wedding: “John and Susan have been lifelong friends. Their marriage marks the end of that friendship.”

The church pastor is a plastic surgeon giving the congregation a “faith lift.” The modern pastor can be an internet preacher, filling his sermon with references to email, e-commerce and e-pistles. The pastor said, “Let us bow our heads in prayer for the many who are sick of our church and community.”

Mother asked little Amanda why she was taking her dolls to church. Amanda explained that she knew the sermon topic and wanted to help the pastor build the “tower of Barbies.”

And finally, Christian oxymorons: comfortable pews, short sermon, heated baptistry, vacation bible school, exciting business meeting, part-time pastor and modern gospel.

Okay, that enough mirth for one week.

Now back to the real world and maybe you’ll find other things to laugh about this week.

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