Betty Moses

Agoraphobia — extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving one's own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult.

OK. I admit it.

I’ve been self-diagnosing myself on the computer again.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I am definitely suffering from agoraphobia. And of course I blame the pandemic.

Check the list: I now have a fear of entering open or crowded places. The thought of entering a crowded Walmart makes me cringe. Of course that happened a lot before COVID-19. Have you seen “People of Walmart” on Facebook or iTunes?

Next, I have a deep reluctance to leave my own house.

Once I’m in my comfortable recliner surrounded by my drink, my glasses, my iPad and two TV remote controls, I find it extremely difficult to haul myself out of the chair and out of the house.

I would classify that as a phobia.

Some people would call it laziness, but I disagree.

Last on the list, a fear of being in places from which escape is difficult, I can’t say this one is fitting for me.

My fear right now is that I do not have the urge to escape from the shelter my home has become. That ‘s quite a change for this granny who never missed an opportunity to take a road trip — anywhere and any distance.

My last little jaunt was a little uncomfortable due to motion sickness, and I find myself uneager to repeat it.

On second thought, there is one location that fills me with fear.

On my last trip to the hair salon, I had a little meltdown and took the comb from the poor hairdresser and combed my own hair.

I desperately need a haircut now, and I’m afraid I will receive retribution at the hands of an irate lady with scissors who won’t let me up from the chair until she has completed her revenge for my bad behavior.

I guess, if truth be told, my so-called phobias are less a result of the pandemic and are much more created by the years I am rapidly adding to my age.

When the virus is no longer a deadly threat, I wonder if my wanderlust will return to normal, and, along with Willie, I will sing, “I can’t wait to get on the road again.”

I’m counting on it.

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