Ettie Newlands

A recent nine-hour car trip revealed more than the differences in how my husband and I drive.

When I drive, if the vehicle in front of us is higher than my car, I have to pass it. I need to see what’s in front of the car two cars in front of us.

As in life, I know what Plan A is, and have to have a Plan B & C, just in case. I need to know what’s coming, and I don’t want any surprises.

My husband, on the other hand, says, “We’ll know what’s there when we get there.”

He’s not a planner. I’m a color-coordinated by activity need-to-know what’s coming calendar keeper. That, he says, shows a lack of spontaneity. I can be very spontaneous with enough notice.

I also look in the rear view mirror a lot. I want to make sure the people behind me aren’t driving faster than I am.

He says, “We’re not there anymore, what difference does it make what’s going on behind us?”

I tell him the people behind us could possibly hit us.

He says we could use the money.

Personality differences even happens when a car passes us.

When that happens, I assume I’m driving too slowly. I’m obviously doing something wrong.

My husband, on the other hand, has no doubt that the other guy is driving too fast.

He never second guesses himself. I am always convinced it – whatever ‘it’ is – is my fault.

When there’s a detour, I go into OMG OMG OMG overdrive.

My husband sees an adventure.

So, when I pointed these observations out to him, he said I was overthinking, it was just a ride.

He also said none of those real-life differences mattered. That we took different routes, but got to the same place.

That made me want to have a conversation about journeys vs destinations, but he put music on.

Go figure.

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