Ettie Newlands

A combination of random thoughts from my email pals MaryLou and Rick are responsible for these offerings:

The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic.

My neighbor just yelled at her kids so loud that even I brushed my teeth and went to bed.

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ‘80s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.

So, when is ‘Old enough to know better’ supposed to kick in?

As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought that dogs are easily amused. Then I realized I was amused by watching the dog being easily amused.

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the ‘M’ is silent.

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life anymore…things just happen and I’m like, ‘Oh, is this what we’re doing now? Ok.’

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: The toilet brush is never the microphone…never.

Sometimes I shock myself with the smart things I do and say. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seatbelt on.

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue all the time.

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

She danced like nobody was watching. But people were watching, and she looked like bees were attacking her.

Perk of being my friend: You’ll be the normal one.

I set out to lose 10 pounds this month. Only 15 to go.

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race and changes you forever…we call them policemen.

There are lots of times when I thank MaryLou and Rick. This is one of them.

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