Ettie Newlands

Who would think, this far into COVID-19, that there’d still be more memes online?

No politics here, no opinions.

But in his quest to declutter his inbox, my friend Rick has once again provided us with some fun, quarantine-related thoughts:

I’m stuck between a rock and someone I’d like to hit with it.

It’s been a great blessing to be home with the wife these last few months. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong in the last 20 years.

I see a big baby boom coming our way in nine months. They’ll be called the C-19 Babies and the most common names will be Charmin and Scott.

I’m done with my 90-day trial of 2020. How do I cancel my subscription?

Remember, Rapunzel was quarantined and met her future husband. Let’s stay positive here.

Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree? I’ve run out of things to do.

When does Season 2 of 2020 start? I do not like Season 1.

When this virus thing is over, I still want some of you to stay away from me.

Wait a second — are you telling me that my chance of surviving this is directly linked to the common sense of other people?

If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal anytime soon, raise your hand and then slap yourself with it.

Having some states lock down and others not is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.

Another Saturday night in the house and I’ve realized even the trash goes out more than I do.

Remember when we were little and our underwear had the days of the week written on it? That would be helpful right now.

The spread of COVID -19 is based on two factors: 1. How dense is the population? And 2. How dense is the population?

Remember when you wished the weekend would last forever? Happy now?

Just did a big load of pajamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for the week.

Is anyone else getting a tan from the light in the fridge?

Silly, you thought dogs were hard to train. Just look at all the humans who can’t sit and stay.

I think I’m finally being grounded for everything I didn’t get caught for when I was a teenager.


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