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The neologism winners for this year’s Washington Post contest are in.

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You’d think I’d have this figured out by now. After all, I’ve been “keeping house” for more than half a century.

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Who would think, this far into COVID-19, that there’d still be more memes online?

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In his valiant quest to transfer some of the contents of his inbox to mine, my friend Rick may have shared these inconsistencies in the English language with me before. That means I may have shared them with you as well.

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Fortunately for me, my newly-retired friend Rick has been cleaning out his email files.

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The Darwin awards, of course in honor of Charles Darwin, acknowledge those folks whose behavior indicates that not all humans have actually evolved to even a basic level of common sense.

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If he had his way, I’d serve my husband meat loaf, mashed potatoes with brown gravy and two vegetables – one of them green – for supper every night.

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During quarantine, my daughter and her husband were home in Myrtle Beach working on a jigsaw puzzle.

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No pressure, but remember that when Shakespeare was quarantined because of the plague, he wrote “King Lear.”

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Instead of the traditional birthday whoopla, lots of people are asking friends and family – the usual whoopla makers – to donate to a fundraiser that the birthday person is passionate about.

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This is the seventh year this Column B has run in the paper the week before Valentine’s Day because once again, it’s been requested.

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My Dad kept a compass attached to his dashboard with Velcro. A regular north, south, east, west little black plastic compass. He had it long before the days of the GPS or the cell phone.

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The answers to the most FAQ about Chanukah are no, yes, yes, and no.

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If you have little people sitting at the grown-up table this Thanksgiving, you can keep them entertained, thanks to LaffGaff, with these groan-worthy jokes and puns:

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I do appreciate my lifelong friend Roger sharing what he calls ‘words to live by’ so that I can pass them on. He didn’t say where he got them, so I can’t credit or blame anyone but him for the typical guy humor.

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Originating on “It’s a Southern Thing,” Lisa Blayton shared this on Facebook, and hopefully, these definitions will keep some newbies from making some of the mistakes I made when I moved south in 1981:

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Waiting to see if this cell phone thing “was really going to catch on,” my husband had a flip phone until very recently.

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My new car is red, a fact my husband doesn’t mention when he talks about it.

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With several females making plans for a family wedding, my daughter explained the mystery of the “gut sucker.”

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Nobody seems to know who wrote this, and even though we both agree it’s kind of sad, I thank Rick for passing it along.

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These phrases little kids wrote in papers that nuns graded may have made the rounds already. But,